Table Topics Tuesday: I over think

I am late to the party but at least I came

Topic: Would you rather live a week in the past or in the future?

At first glance I thought for sure the future. I am a 'What if?' girl to the core. So at first I thought - the future! Then I can see for myself that all is going to be okay and then I would be able to come back to the present and just be. Instead of being my worrisome anxious self.

Then the Hubs and I had a conversation about it. I said that it would be better to go forward and then come back and change the future (if you must) then go back and change the past because that could set forward a whole plan of events that could change the present beyond your control. Changing one moment in the past could change all kinds of things. Right? Makes sense to me. NOT to him. To him he says it is the same. So maybe I am CRAZY. So then I was really thinking about it and I thought no - I would go back. But not too far. I mean, I have made some mistakes but those mistakes have brought me to where I am today. For the most part I wouldn't change a thing. However with that said the last two years have not been the greatest. Losing a baby, Hubs not following a path he is passionate about - upon my request, only for him to lose his job 8 months later (i have incredible guilt). Then turning our world upside down by moving to Montana in the fall and both of us having to do things that we are not enjoying just to make ends meet. I would like to think, just as I have in the past, that everything happens for a reason. I truly believe that. But in these cases I think that a one simple tweak would be okay and would change things. If only.

However, if I truly believe that everything happens for a reason - then we are on a path that we are supposed to be on and it will lead us to great things. Then I shouldn't want to change a thing right? I just thought of that. I do that, often. Plus if I were to go back in the past to change the present- it would be tempting to go back even farther and I wouldn't want to risk losing what precious blessings I have in my life to change one single event.

See - who knows what would happen if you go back and mess with the past. I just read recently in a blog "Don't look back unless it's to gain understanding." It really hit me.

Maybe I am looking at this all wrong. I do tend to over think! I am sure you figured that out by now. Maybe I should just want to go to visit an era. I always loved the Victorian era. Go back and live with Queens and Kings. Nice. But....... who knows what kind of trouble I could cause in a week. It could change some seriously big events in history, right? Right.

So in the course of this I really confused myself. Round and Round I go. But I did come up with this......

To answer the question: Would you rather live a week in the past or in the future?

I know I just made a great argument for not going back. So you would most likely assume that I would go forward. However, I think I actually would travel to the past. I would go back to when my mom had my baby sister and I would hold her and love her. I would get my fill of her sweet little spirit in a weeks worth of time to last me a lifetime. I was two and a half when she passed away and I am not sure if the memories I have of her are my own or those that I have seen in pictures. All I know is this: I have a hole in my heart. I have a longing to see her and meet her so I think that is my answer. The past - but I would have to do it stealth like as to not change the present. Then I would also have to trust that the future is bright and perfect and that I have nothing to worry about. I am not very good at that!

Thanks Shannon from Welcome to the Nuthouse for letting me play along. I had fun.