Too Early To Make Sound Decisions, Clean Showers, And There Must Be Crack In Candy Land-Monday's Mama Drama

You Know You Have Mama Drama When.....

1. Your son has taken your muttered response of "Have whatever you want for breakfast." quite literally as you find him at the dining room table with his entire bag of Halloween candy in front of him. Hey, it was 5:30 A.M. on a SATURDAY when the kid came bee-bopping into my bedroom and said, "Can you make waffles?" Me: "Uh No" JD Boy: "Then what can I have for breakfast?"...and you know the rest.

2. You are so peeved off at your husband that you end up cleaning the entire shower from top to bottom at 11:00 P.M. because the mindless task is actually therapeutic, plus it gave my hands something to do other than strangle my beloved, PLUS I used his little nail scrubber brush to do the job. It worked...I felt much better when I was done and my shower sparkles. He better be nice, the toilets need cleaning next and I hear a toothbrush works great for getting in all the little nooks.

3. The same morning that your son had his highly nutritious breakfast of Halloween candy, he continues to pester you in bed. Now it is 6:00 A.M. and he wants help finding a pair of pants so he can go to the ranch with Daddy. He can't find them (of course, he's a male). I'm in bed TRYING to sleep (crazy, I know) when I look on the floor and notice a pair of used pants he took off the night before and left on my floor (again, of course, he's a male). So, I tell him to put those on. I mean come on, do I really have to get out of my warm bed to get him a pair of clean pants just so he'll get them filthy dirty as soon as he gets to the ranch when there is already a perfectly filthy pair right there for him to put on by himself? See, there is a method to my madness.

And Finally....

4. You look your 3 yr. old in the face and say, "Sorry honey, I don't know where your Candy Land game is right now." You know it's tucked away safely under the bed, but you just can't play that stinking game ONE. MORE. TIME. Little did you know when you purchased said game that your daughter would turn into a Candy Land ADDICT and demand EVERYONE in the house play every five minutes. Not to mention the dang little kid wins every time. I don't know how she does it, but EVERY TIME...I'm not competitive or anything, I'm just saying.

Friday Five: Singleton's with vibrating toys, Skunk oil, clean toilets, and dinner parties. Ha!

Amy's Friday Five: This is where I share with you five things I learned this week because there is always something to be learned. In the process you might learn a little something about me.

1. Singleton's live VERY interesting lives. I don't remember being like that pre marriage but then again that was a while ago and I don't think that I could actually qualify as a singleton back then. Regardless. WOW! is all I can say for the single lifestyle. WOW.

2. There is nothing like a vibrating friend catching on fire to ruin one's day. Okay so seriously this kind of goes hand and hand with number one and is not in any way shape or form been experienced first hand. Thank heavens she was just giving it a trial run and watching it do it's thing, for lack of better terminology, when it started smoking. SMOKING! Don't worry I told her that she should really call consumer reports because that is really dangerous. I mean seriously ,could you imagine? Anyway I had a great laugh and I needed one.

3. Skunk perfume is actually an oil. So don't wash clothes in hot water and it penetrates everything like campfire smoke.

4. Apparently I learned that I might possibly be the worlds most anal toilet cleaner. I thought everyone gets under there toilet to clean it. I guess not. What can I say I can clean me a mean toilet. Hey I am a domestic goddess and that is my job to make a toilet shine.

5. My princesses are shining in the spotlight. They love the attention from friends and family. The are experiencing a whole new world of people popping in, dinner parties, getting picked up to go to Grammy's. They are loving it.

Well there you have it. Have you learned anything lately? Let us know. Have a fabulous Friday and a wonderful weekend.

The Skunk Returns

Remember this? The skunk story? I do but that is because I experienced the not so great feeling of the near encounter with the skunk first hand. Well he strikes again and my Dad is in the dog house. Anyone have an available room for awhile? I think this one has landed him in the dog house for quite awhile.

See, their dog got sprayed. Not a problem because if you remember correctly we found the miracle solution to removing stench from dog.

However it does become a problem when said stinky dog is let in the house and locked in living quarters while husband goes to find wife in bedroom to ask what the miracle solution is. First mistake and bad bad idea.

Dog left to wander jumps on furniture. Second mistake. All this leads to very very upset wife. Did you know that skunk perfume penetrates the whole house? Your clothes, your hair, your furniture? It does. So needless to say, Dad is in some super hot water. My mama is super ticked off. I would be too. I am betting that one of them will be down at my house soon.

My mama was even more ticked off when I told her to change into some of my clothes because she stunk like skunk and then again when the OP asked after getting in the truck, "Yuck, what smells like skunk, Grammy?" Bad Bad day for my Dad.

However I hear today that it (the smell) is getting better. The couch has been relocated outside- I am sure to await garbage day. So maybe my mama will be happy when she goes to buy herself the new couch she has been eyeing at the furniture store for quite some while.

The lord works in mysterious ways!

Randomness

I am having a bad hair day - already! Woke up with it actually.

My kids woke up grumpy. Yelling at each other. What a way to start the morning, I tell ya. It is going to be a fun fun day. Last night I prayed for patience and promised to respond in a more loving way. Let's see how that goes. I am going to try. I am

So I think I will never get my house the way I want it before my Thursday Lia Sophia party. So with that said, it is what it is.

My children keep fighting, arguing, hurting each others feelings, tattling on each other and I am ready to just go nuts. I don't know if it is the move or missing there dad or what but holy cow is it getting old. I think I am going to run into the corner and cry.

I made one room a playroom and do you think my girls are using it? No. They are stuck to me like gorilla glue.

My OP is struggling. I want to make it better. I knew that there would be an adjustment going from home school to public school but I thought it would be socially. Socially she is fine. Girl can make friends in 2 seconds. She is struggling with the work. She is ahead of the kids in the coursework but they use a different method or program in phonics and she is lost. So now I have to reteach her a whole different way. Does it really matter? She can break a word apart. She can read. Who cares that she doesn't put the stupid symbols. I am irritated.

I think I don't fit in here. The people are very cliquey and not super friendly to outsiders. I am an outsider. Not only that but I have discovered that this town is morally flawed. It is going to take some getting used to after living in my bubble for the last five years.

Living close to family is going to take some getting used to as well. Don't get me wrong it is nice in a lot of ways but after being on my own for 13 years it is foreign to me.

I have baby fever. I want another one so bad and I know that it is not the right time. But the clock is ticking. Tick Tick Tick Tock! I am afraid though to have another one. So many things are happening to people I know that scare me. Then with this flu crap going around. Just not a good time.

Ok. So it is 10:30 and I HAVE to get some stuff done. Must get going. Light a little fire under this big toosh.

First thing is first. I need to clean up the rice krispies on my floor. I hate wet rice krispies but the kiddos love them.

With that said, have a wonderful day.

YUCK! Listen to me! I am a super dooper party pooper, aren't I? I just read this post and I wanted to puke. Such a downer! Someone slap me. Where are you Lady Di? Only you can slap me.

Really it isn't THAT bad. There are good things too. Like the sun is shining. I can wear a short sleeve shirt and flip flops today. I actually got to spend some time on the computer this morning. The MP is eating lunch! That is huge my ladies and gents, HUGE!

Ok now I feel better. I brought a little sunshine to the blog. No more boo hooing here! Stay tuned for a super dooper giveaway. We have to work out the details................................

Just Chillin', The Almighty Fart, and A Speedy Spongebob-Monday's Mama Drama

You Know You Have Mama Drama When....


1. You go get your 3 yr. old from the neighbors house and you find her lounging in a chair surrounded by all her "peeps". You tell her it's time to go home to eat lunch and she says, "But mom, I'm just chilling over here." Yeah, she's 3 going on 13.

2. First your son tells you that farts keep leprechauns away (because didn't you know that leprechauns live in your carpet). Now, your daughter tells you that "blowing wind" also kills monsters. Who knew the almighty fart could ward off such forces of evil.

3. Your kids are just so gosh darn stinkin' cute that they not only received candy, they got mini pumpkins, one lady took their picture (even though we didn't know her), and they even scored some cold hard cash. Heck, one neighbor gave ol' mom and dad a bottle wine....hmm, did it look like we needed it?

And Finally....

4. You whip out a homemade Spongebob costume in less than 2 hours so your son has a costume for his school Halloween parade. See, mama thought she was cool and had until Sat to make the costume, until she realized Friday morning that his parade was on Friday afternoon. However, much to my surprise it turned out quite nice or as my son would say, "awesome".

Cutest Little Witches (and cat) on the Block

I have the candy to prove it!

Hope your Halloween was has fun as ours. We can't wait for next year.

Happy Halloween

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,

may luck be yours on HALLOWEEN!

Don't you just love it! I do. Have a great day.

Random Tuesday Thoughts Tandom Style

Well it's Tuesday. What? You didn't know? Sorry! I should have broke it to you gently. It is and that means it is a day of Random Thoughts. You know over at The Unmom's. Lady Di is lurking in the shadows. Hence the tandomness. It has been awhile since we joined each other in a post. Don't you think?

Tuesday and it is supposed to snow here in the Big Sky. The Hubs is still enjoying the lovely sunny weather of the Land of Nowhere while I am freezing my tooshie off here in the Big Sky. What up with that? I tell ya he has it so easy. Did I say that? I did. You do, Hubs! Going to come home to a nice house: everything put away, put his feet up in his recliner and be all comfy and cozy. He is actually trying to acclimate himself while he is away by not turning on the heater and although it is warm in the day it's not so much in the night in the LON. I told him it doesn't matter how much he tries it isn't going to work because his teeth are chattering at 65 degrees and when I walked outside yesterday morning it was 34 degrees. Uh huh.

Yeah, I thought of you today as I was putting on my capris and sandals. It was in the 80's here. Got to love that mild California weather. If it makes you feel better it does get windy at night...

Seriously. Not even funny Lady Di. You suck! Speaking of wind. It was super windy here the other day and I forgot to mention the LEAVES. Oh my, the leaves are FALLING. They are everywhere. My neighbors trees are puking on my lawn. So I went out and just picked them up from my bushes and threw them in the air. I sent those little boogers flying down the street. Is that OK? I mean they are not my leaves.

Did you know it is hunting season? It sure is. See in the LON hunting season comes and goes and I really never noticed. It is a little harder to not notice here. As the OP said the first night we pulled in. "Mama that car has a dead goat on it!" Me: "Um, Say what? a daddy goat?" Her: " No Mommy a DEAD goat! Go back" Me: "Ok. If you say so." We backed up and sure enough right there in the parking lot of the restaurant on the back of someones truck was a dead antelope. I guess they needed a bite to eat. Long day? Odd. Very odd and a bit gross. Shhhh don't tell anyone my house might get egged. Anyway they are everywhere, on the back of trucks.

Just don't go native. I don't want to find anything dead on your car when I come to visit. OR wonder what is in the meatloaf.

oh not to worry. not to worry. I still ask the Grams what is in the meatloaf, the tacos, what kind of roast is that? I can't and won't eat wild game. It stinks. Could you imagine me, hunting. I think not.

I went shopping yesterday for some warmer clothes. Shopping was fun. My Mama and I walked into a tractor supply store to get a dog house and some snow boots were on sale. She says: "that is a nice price you should get some." I replied, " I think I will just stay in when it snows." I will wait until I find some cute stylish ones. Do they make those? I want some like my girls have.

So what....you are planning on "staying in" until like May??? Girl, I'm afraid you are going to have to break down and buy some freakin' snow boots whether they are cute and stylish or not. I know you're in denial but you do live in MONTANA now and it SNOWS there...LOTS. Hey, just do me a favor and DO NOT under any circumstances whatsoever wear socks with sandals. Remember, Lady Di says that is NEVER okay!!!!

What? I thought I could totally get away with that here. Actually I was thinking about socks with flip flops. Cute, huh? I will start a new fad. Actually I am sending the OP to school today with socks and flip flops. Don't flip out! It is Red Ribbon Week and she is supposed to wear flip flops today. But good heavens it is freezing. I can't send her little piggies out in that kind of weather.

I had one of those moments. One of those moments when you look in the mirror and go. Holy crap! Who is that looking back at me? Yep I did. What happened? Where did I go and who the heck is this impostor that has replaced me. She isn't pretty. Her skin sucks. She has bags under her eyes. She looks like she has been hit by a truck. Even worse yet. I saw her again yesterday trying on clothes in a full length mirror and I was so scared I left. What happened? I turned 30 and WHACK my body went to $#!&*. I want to cry. I am going to get a tissue.

Here, you can have one of my tissues. We need to get a girl's trip planned that includes a day at the spa. I need a haircut so bad right now. My hair has never been the same since I had kids. What's up with that anyway? My once thick, long, wavy/curly hair is now thin and has a mind of it's own. Some days it has it's curl and does what it's told and other days it's flat and stringy.

Oh I got your back girl. It sucks. Mine is thinning in places where it shouldn't and then growing in places it's not supposed to. That isn't because I am thirty that is due to a haywire thyroid. Don't even get me started on that. Girls trip- yes indeed. Vegas baby. I just have to lose some of this extra bulge that has moved in uninvited. AGAIN.

Apparently I have some neighbors that are feeling a little pressure to decorate perhaps even a little jealous? See that was the first thing I did when I got here. It's Halloween! I have to break out the decorations. I got called bad names by two of my neighbors. One already stole my pumpkins. She has since put them back. It is all in good fun but it is so on! They better watch it. My new neighbors don't know how competitive I am.


Good luck with the new neighbors. We can trade crazy neighbor stories now. Mine felt obligated to come out and talk...I mean bitch the entire time while I was doing yard work. Goodness sake, that man is one big complain fest. I don't think he has ever said one thing to me that wasn't a complaint about something. His latest beef is with the mailman who is not delivering his mail because HE (the neighbor) won't move his car from in front of the mailbox. I'm thinking DUDE, I understand that YES it's kind of BS that the mailman can't get out of his little mail car to deliver the mail. HOWEVER COMMA if the post office powers that be say that he is not allowed to get out of little mail car and therefore mail will not be delivered if cars are parked in front of the mailbox.....then DON'T PARK YOUR FLIPPIN' VAN IN FRONT OF YOUR MAILBOX!!! Geez, do I really have to solve ALL the problems in the universe???

I love your neighbor. He is a crack up. You really should start sharing some neighbor stories. I thought he would move after the last shootout. Why is he still there? My neighborhood is like living on Wisteria lane.

And here is my own original random thought: I've been working at the schools administering a language test to all the English Language learners that are enrolled. Most recently I was at the middle school and can I just say that I think I know some kindergartners that can bubble in answers better than some of these middle schoolers. YIKES!! I don't know who cares less. The kid scribbling in the bubbles or the teacher that collects it with out checking and making the kid clean it up.

I am a teacher myself and I even gave the test to an entire class of students and I made sure that those kids bubbled in their answers properly. It's not that hard people and it takes less than a minute to do a glance over of each test that gets handed in to check for neatness.

You go Lady Di! Clean bubbles are important. You had to bring up teachers. I mean I know you are one but your an awesome one. I am having issues with the OP's. I won't get started.

Also, is it really necessary to say that only a #2 pencil be used on the test? Is there really any other number of pencil anymore? I'm 32 and remember back in elementary school that there were different leads. But, now a days...really? Isn't that like saying make sure you only put unleaded gas, not regular in your car? Anyway, just thought I'd throw that out there. Maybe up in Redneckville....I mean Montana they still use pencils that are not #2 pencils.

Um. Geez. I am not in Arkansas! Montana is a little behind but not much and I am not a native. I still claim to be Californian. We have #2 pencils and I have personally never seen another lead number.

Oh I forgot. Can I just say that the Swine Flu is freaking me out a little. I mean I can't even get the regular flu shot up here. They seem to be short. What is up with that anyway? I mean seriously? They obviously know that there are more people in the world than last year and might need to up the number. No they made less. Thanks.

Angels, "It's a Farming Thing", and There's a Bunny In My House- Monday's Mama Drama

You know you have Mama Drama when...

1. You are in the car and warned the kids for the 100th time to stop touching each other and be quiet, when you hear yet another "hit" and yet ANOTHER snicker. You realize your ninja reflexes are not what they used to be when you turn quickly to catch the "perp" in the act and all you see is the 3 yr. old (with the halo on of course) pointing her delicate index finger at big brother...who is staring blankly out the window (also wearing halo).

2. You are actually thankful your son wants to be Spongebob for Halloween even though Spongebob annoys the YOU KNOW WHAT out of me. BECAUSE...up until this weekend you thought you would have to REALLY make your son either a center pivot costume OR a giant corn cob costume (it's a farming thing).

3. Most moms are taking their sons to Saturday morning soccer games, you are taking yours to the ranch to smash potatoes with the tractor (again...it's a farming thing).

And Finally....

4. Your 3 yr. daughter walks out of the bathroom stark naked with a wad of toilet paper stuck between her cheeks and says, "Look mom, I look like a bunny!!" Hmmm....potential Halloween costume perhaps???

Oh My! We Have Been Bad

Shhhh! I have a quick moment. The princesses and the grams are still sleeping. I will have to be quiet though and quick so turn off the lights and be very very stealth like.

Where have the Mama Drama mama's gone? Shame on us! I know where I have been. See this:

Yep that is pretty much my situation. I can only imagine that Lady Di is buried under these:

I mean that would be the only reason she couldn't get to her computer, right? I am not worried. It isn't like being buried in sand, there are air pockets.

(thanks google for the pics) Here's the drama: The Hubs came for a day to unload the truck and then he left back to Arizona. So the Grams is watching the girls while I go down to my house and unpack, as Lady Di would say a bajillion boxes and move things around. Fun times. I am tired. Tired of trying to fit my stuff into a much smaller house. This is my life for the time being - I have big plans for this house. BIG BIG plans. (shh -that is a secret)

However, today I do the office. Well closet turned into office (i am serious). So computer here I come. I have been going through major blogging withdrawals. I have so so much to tell you guys. I moved to the drama capital of the world I think. I have only been here a while but oh my goodness - The DRAMA! Maybe it is just because this is the first time I have lived in a neighborhood. I actually haven't had neighbors since college and trust me when I say that it has been a long time. The only drama then was when the downstairs neighbors would cook - Lady Di and I had to smell curry for the evening. Or when the neighbors next door would blast there cultural melodies! Fun times. Those really were the days! Or wait a minute this one was always good, when Lady Di would be incapacitated for reasons I can not say and I would have to carry her upstairs to our apartment where she would turn into chatty Kathy and sing show tunes. Fun times!

Anyway getting off track.

I promise promise promise we will make it up to you and that all will return to normal here at the Drama Mama Blog very soon. I promise. See today I have to finish. I HAVE TO FINISH!!! or I might go insane and then we would have to change the name of this blog. Seriously it is time to have my space - my place to call HOME! So with that said. I will write soon. I promise. I hear movement. DARN IT! I.MUST.GO. I do, however, promise to return on Tuesday. I hope all is well with you and yours.

Oh, this is a good one. Today I am taking a bunch of kids to a pumpkinless pumpkin patch. They, the pumpkins, FROZE. Goodness sakes - I am not in Arizona anymore!