Monday's Mama Drama - Distracted

So DISTRACTED! I think I have too much brain clutter.

Must find a way to declutter quickly before I have a full meltdown.

Crazy Commentary-Monday's Mama Drama

You Know You Have Mama Drama When.....

1. Your son doesn't have any sandals that fit so he decides to wear his bright orange cowboy boots with his green and yellow plaid shorts to take a walk. YEAH SPRING WEATHER!!!

2. You hear the four yr. old hand out some advice on how to handle a bully to your seven yr. old. It went something like this.... 7 yr.old: I'm just having a hard time because "so and so" is calling me a fathead. 4 yr. old: Just call him a butt crack then.

3. You're standing at the back door waiting for the kids to come (who never come). After about the third white trash yodel of their names you decide to actually look for them and walk into the kitchen to find one kid smacking on a brownie and the other with a mouth full of Jolly Ranchers. Not the worst snack items except for the fact that it was 7:30 in the morning. However, you find yourself at a loss for words because you were just waiting by the door to get them in the car to go get some donuts. You know, brownie, Jolly Rancher, donut, heck...why don't I just throw in a couple of Mountain Dews to wash it all down!!

4. You're husband comes down with a severe case of strep throat. I'm talking, "shot in the butt with penicillin" severe. AND...the 4 yr. old develops some kind of mystery rash on both arms and the top of one foot. So the husband is in quarantine, the kid is asking for her "itchy cream" every 5 minutes and I am washing my hands like I have OCD.

And Finally....

5. You answer your sons comment of "I just don't know why we need manners." with "Because we live in a place that uses manners." To which he replies (with a giant sigh mind you), "I wish I lived in Africa." Uh...OK. Now why he thinks that in Africa one need not have manners I do not know. I gave up wondering what's going on in that crazy little mind of his the day he answered "nueve" when I asked him if he wanted juice. Ok...follow me, he watched a Baby Einstein video that taught different languages. One of the languages was German, in which "nein" means no. The word "neuve" in Spanish means nine. So when I asked if my then 3 yr. old son wanted juice he replied "nueve" which is "nein" in German which means no. See what I mean? So now, it doesn't even phase me when I hear his crazy commentary.

Monday's Mama Drama - In Pictures

I am going to do my (Amy) Monday Mama Drama in pictures today. I take lots of pictures so why not use them?

I know I(we) haven't been around lately. I can't speak for Lady Di but I am a little frantic these days. I had good intentions and quite a bit of blogging material last week but very little time to blog. In fact my computer hasn't seen very much of me at all. So very sad.

So here was my drama (in pictures) this past week:

A very sick Bear. Doesn't she look so sad?

Oh the fear I get when my girls are so sick. My nerves were shot. Many hairs turned grey!

These are all clean. Why can't I keep up?

These are all DIRTY! Oy Vay!

So many hats on order.................
Must keep up even if it means staying up till 2:30am. Crocheting until my eyes cross.

Note to self: keep girls away - far far away when attempting to do a yard sale. So much DRAMA!

Look at this face! She is MAD. I will show you the letter she wrote soon.

Look at this one. The Cat, she is so sad. "Please MOMMY - Don't sell this box!"

The Bug (the one above in the helmet) has now vowed to move into this tent in the backyard for 5 DAYS. To get some ALONE time. Why didn't I think of that?

I was Fancy Nancy at the school for the Read In. Now little kids see me at the store and yell, "there is Fancy Nancy!" I am sure the parents are thinking some odd things........

I must not forget my pie. Lemon Meringue pie. I have never once had problems with this pie. I did last week. Stupid meringue. Never bake when your angry.

AHhh this is better. After three tries.

My poor little itty bitty kitchen. It exploded upon itself. Thanks must be given to Mr. Man - who helped clean it.

Today's Drama:

Dogsitting:

She happens to hate..........

The Bear loves Olivia. Lots of barking and growling going on today.

Did I mention this:

We have lived here for 6 months ( I can't believe it). I am still unpacking.

Drama in the girls room. Oh yes. It has puked on itself this week. Must clean. Someday.

So what is your drama? Enquiring minds would like to know.

Sometimes It is Just ALL about the DRAMA

It just is. Have you ever had one of those weeks where it feels like you just can't get ahead? No matter what you do you are late to everything, the house just throws up on itself and the laundry room seems to be reproducing clothes? I just had one of those weeks. Hence the lack of blogging. I so miss blogging. I miss you. Actually I miss my computer. I haven't spent much time on it the past few weeks. Anyhow back to the drama Amy style!

You know you have Mama Drama when:

1. You are going on week 3 of the sickies. Somehow I have managed to keep it away from the girls and the Hubs but I just can't seem to kick the sniffles, cough, the nasty gunk.

2. Your 7 year old is home from school because she went into complete hysterics after you tell her that she absolutely can't where a sweater jacket with tights only. Not to mention having to cover her mirror with paper because you are just DONE with the constant staring of herself and talking to it instead of you. The previous day she had a melt down after she was told that there was no way you were letting her take down and wear her VALANCE to school. Yes VALANCE: hot pink and leopard print valance. OH MY GOSH: the DRAMA - the TEARS. I (we are in for it when she is a teenager.)

3. In an attempt to accept your current plight you try to embrace all things winter and attempt to go skiing with a group of kids that turn out to be your responsibility because the leader became ill the day before. YOU who has extreme ANXIETY soon realize that the possibility of returning these kids in one piece is going to be a chore and you start saying prayers as soon as you see the mountain. Thankfully I was heard.

4. In the same trip you decide not to get skis yourself but put your 7 year old in lessons and after lessons end up walking or riding up the mountain on a magic carpet to put on skis that have fallen off or just going up there because she is frustrated and needs a pep talk. My feet were frozen and my fingers felt (well they didn't feel at all). I had just planned on staying in the lodge all day. You have drama when you realize that you are completely unprepared for such an outing.

5. A new friend invites you to what you assume is just a few mom's talking over coffee for an hour about an hour ahead of time. So you throw on a track suit and hat grab some crackers for the girls and get out the door to find (1) you are actually a half an hour early and (2) this is a three hour thing with agendas and guest speakers. HOLY CATs did I feel a little uneasy.

6. After not so GENTLE prompting from you mom you go to her chiropractor for what you thought was a regular adjustment. After 2 hours of tests he decides you need x-rays before he will even touch my spine and he says, "has anyone ever talked to you about sclerosis?" FANTASTIC! What the heck is that?

7. To enjoy the SUN you decide to take the dogs and the little girls for a walk to pick up the K- BUG (aka the OP) from school. You grab the wagon and dog leashes and head out. About half way you realize this was the DUMBEST idea in the world and wish you had turned around. When you think it can't get any worse one of your dogs takes a huge DUMP on someone's yard and you not being used to the whole dogs-on-a-leash thing because you used to live in the middle- of-no-where- desert have forgotten some sort of dump removal system ( bags ). So after standing at such yard for 5 minutes praying that no one has just witnessed such violation you keep walking. You then find a ziplock on the side of road and run back to clean up your stupid dogs mess. So really I did two civic duties that day: I picked up trash and cleaned up after my dog.

8. It is another beautiful day and you decide to walk to the park with the kids (no dogs) to enjoy the sun. After 10 minutes the B-Bear (aka the YP) has to go potty so you make a mad dash for the restrooms, open the door and feel like you just fell into a sewage plant. You hold back the urge to puke and open the stall door to now have visual to go along with the smell. Next door the results in the same visual. I think crap (literally) what the heck? So in complete desperation you throw paper towels into the sink and hold her over it to pee. I mean she is two and she can't hold it! All the while thinking of the people you are going to write a letter to about this! RIDICULOUS! The B-Bear gets done and you throw away the paper towels and go to turn on the faucet- NO WATER! GRRR! %!@*

and last but not least. You KNOW you have Mama Drama when:

9. The Hubs has to sleep on the couch because, after coming home at 1:30am from being out on a ride-a-long with the local pd, finds that the Basset hound has peed on his side of the bed. I let the dogs sleep with me and the B-Bear, not sure why, and apparently he must have dreamed he was peeing on a tree and actually peed because he never got up. Nice.

I told you it was one of those weeks! Crazy. What I ask was your drama?

Monday's Mama Drama

You Know You Have Mama Drama When.....

1. You cook "breakfast for dinner" 3x during the week because you didn't have time to go grocery shopping. No worries however, my kids LOVE breakfast for dinner.

2. You have to haul all your laundry to your in-law's house because your washer decided to go kaput.

3. You go to the gym for your first class named Boot Camp and after seeing the trainer show up in full fatigues (he's an ex-drill Sargent) realize they REALLY do mean BOOT CAMP. I didn't know the human body could produce that much sweat.

And Finally...

4. Your back begins to hurt so bad while on a walk with your husband and kids that by the end of the walk you're in the wagon and the kids are walking. Must have been the boot camp...

Monday Mama Drama

You Know You Have Mama Drama When.....

1. Your 4 yr. old asks how old you are during dinner. When you reply, her eyes get real big and she looks over at older brother and whispers, "Hey, she's 32." To which your darling son replies, "See, I told you she was old."

2. You find yourself leaving a message on your husband's Facebook wall asking him to get off the computer in the bedroom and meet you in the living room so you can watch T.V. together.

3. You fall asleep with wet hair (not good when you have curly hair), then wake up in the morning late. So you're looking in the mirror trying to figure out how you are going to tame your wild fro hair when the lil' fro head walks in and says, "Hey mom your hair looks like mine now....pretty." Great, thanks honey, curly mop-top bedhead was EXACTLY the look I was going for.

4. You wake up one morning SOOO happy it is finally Friday, only to realize that is in fact Thursday. MAN, that was a long day!!!

And Finally,

5. Your son goes into the bathroom, then yells, "Hey, does anyone have any fart juice?" I didn't even go near that one.....

Monday's Mama Drama - Lady Di is ditching.

Well Lady Di has ditched us again. She says that she has a good excuse. Something about not getting home until 1 am. Whatever! I know she was just drinking Mai Tai's watching the football game and forgot all about us.

So my drama isn't all that exciting this week.

1. It's snowing (which means I am stuck inside again)

2. I caught a stinky virus that makes me feel like I got hit by a truck.

3. My two year old (who is potty trained) refuses to take herself to the bathroom but instead she will just stand in front of the toilet yelling, Mooooommmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyy, Pooooooooooooooottttttttyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy and wet herself.

4. My four year old is saying things like: "if you won't let me, I will cry", "you DON'T want to make me sad", or (this one is nice) "for God's sakes". Honestly I have no idea where she got that from. I don't say that.

5. Then the hubs (who KNOWS I am mindful of what goes in my kids mouths. I try really hard) brings home a case of a drink with the ingredients list as follows: water, high fructose corn syrup, and 2% or LESS of the following juice concentrate: tangerine, orange, grapes. ARE YOU KIDDING! Plus it had 230 mg of sodium. SODIUM. STAB me why don't you. He says, "I had NO idea!"

Ok so that is it. I ask you, What is your drama? I am also asking you this ( I need advice):

4 weeks ago I took my new neighbor cinnamon rolls in one of my cake pans and she hasn't returned it. What should I do? I need it.

I haven't had neighbors in over 8 years.

Mama Drama Monday: My four year old is driving me crazy

Well it's Monday FEBRUARY first. Can you believe it? I can't. January just flew by.

How about them Grammy's? Some awesome performances: Pink - holy cats! Dave Matthews Band - Awesome. Celine Dion, Usher, Carrie Underwood, Jennifer Hudson, and Smokey Robinson - Fantastic.

Well on with the drama. Lady Di is super busy these days so I am filling in. Look for some changes in regards to Mama Drama Mondays. They are coming soon. Hopefully.

You know you have Mama Drama when:

1. Your favorite, very sharp scissors are missing. Ahh they will turn up soon, I imagine. It is just a matter of how much damage is done in the mean time.

2. In the course of a week: a remote, a bowl, a coaster ( all from Grammy's house), scissors, a crochet hook, a watch, glasses, an ipod, and some other misc. items have all gone missing. Luckily most have been found and returned to there rightful owner. Except the scissors of course and the crochet hook. You know it is bad when you have to perform a pat down of your child before you leave some where.

3. Your out to dinner and your 4 year old (MP) who seems to be a vegetarian (wait, that would require you to actually eat vegetables) a vegan (oh wait she eats cheese and milk) a meat hater then is gagging, like seriously gagging: Going - to - throw - up - her - grilled - cheese - sandwich GAGGING because her Dad is eating a burger and she can smell it. He had to move and face away from her to eat his burger. It is getting bad folks. I really dislike dinner time.

4. Your 4 year old (again) runs down stairs ( I only had been down there 1 minute ) screaming that the YP is eating dog food. You have a mild panic attack thinking that the protein source is probably peanuts in your all natural dog food and run frantically upstairs to make sure she is breathing all the while trying to remember where the epi pen is and where the dog food came from. When you get there you see her with a cute little bowl, saucer, and spoon from the MP's tea set filled with the dog food. Looks as if the MP brought her little sister a snack and then realized perhaps that wasn't a great idea when she started eating it. (pictures of this on Wednesday).

5. The Hubs brings up a plastic drawer full of play dishes and containers that have been filled with the Kool Aid he had made for 20 minutes prior. He is rambling on how the MP is NOT ALLOWED to have any food or drink ANY WHERE except the kitchen table. I've heard this before.

and finally you know you have mama drama when

6. When your Hubs and you are finally watching TV thinking all is well when you hear a lot of racket upstairs. You go to investigate and find a container of empty cous cous, water, and dried cranberries all over your carpet in your room. Have you guessed yet? That is right - The MP. She was making "soup". Do you know what Cous Cous is? It is very tiny Moroccan style pasta. VERY SMALL in moderately long carpet.

I am going to be institutionalized by my four year old daughter.

Ok so things change and my cast of characters need to be changed due to changing personalities. They have all lost there princess status! Just kidding (not really). Anyhow I need some names. I am thinking historical fiction or even fictional characters in novels or films. Actresses, even. Any ideas? The Oldest Princess has to be the MOST dramatic person I know. The Middle Princess well - you can guess from the drama above how she is - DIFFICULT, hard headed, stubborn, and she steals things. Then the Youngest Princess well she is pretty dramatic herself even at 2. She has a look for everything ( she gets that from me). She doesn't like many people and she has some serious attitude but can be pretty cute. I need some ideas.

Happy Monday.

Leaks, Enough About Tractors, And Covert Operations

You Know You Have Mama Drama When....

1. You decide you better go sit on the toilet during a bad coughing spell so you don't pee yourself. Hey, this mama popped out not one but TWO 9+ pound babies and the land down under has never been the same.

2. Your son unrolls an ENTIRE brand new roll of paper towels just to get the little tube in the middle so he can rig it up to one of his toy tractors and use it as a "drag bar". Yeah, it's a farming thing.

Speaking of tractors....

3. Your son is sooo excited about the new track tractor at Dad's work that it is ALL he talks about. So much so that even the 3 yr. old upon seeing her brother walk towards her, held up her hand to him and said, "NO!! I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE TRACK TRACTOR!!"

4. You're running late so you raid your kids piggy bank because you need your tall nonfat chai tea from Starbucks and you don't have time to go to the bank AND Starbucks. By the way...yes, I know you can use an ATM card at Starbucks but then that would leave evidence via the receipt which would not be good since I currently bet my hubs that I could kick my Starbucks addiction. See how this is wrong on soooo many levels....mama drama for sure!! Oh and don't worry, I repaid my debt to my child and vow never to pilfer funds again...girl scouts honor.

And Finally....

5. You're in the midst of devising an elaborate covert operation to return a missing crock pot lid to your mother-in-law which you have been swearing for the last year you have not had in your possession. Low and behold you find the stupid thing after stating with much conviction for many months that you most certainly DID NOT have it. Well, dear ol' mom-in-law just happens to be going on a little vacay this week and guess what is going to be shoved way back in a corner of one of her cupboards to await discovery by it's proper owner??? I'm not joking. This is highly classified information, she would never let me live it down. Operation "Make Her Think She Is The Crazy One That Misplaced Her Lid" will commence tomorrow morning.

You know you have mama drama when you can't get your stupid computer to do a simple task like copy and paste your signature.....ugh

LADY DI

This Mama Needs a Vacation

Okay - So I don't know where Lady Di is. Probably in bed like this:

I only say that because that was me this morning (well not really ME!) You get the point.

Just wanting to wish the world away. Having no desire to get up and go. What is going on? WE are in a funk and the FUNK seems to be going around this year. I have been reading some blogs and talking to friends and it is a reoccurring theme. So we are starting a movement - SAY NO TO THE FUNK!! Just do it! DON'T allow it to enter your day. If you start to feel a little down - Call a friend and talk about something exciting or fun. Plan a trip. Lady Di and I are going to Vegas in February with one of our college friends. We will probably just sleep but at least we will be uninterrupted. I dream of no interruptions. Go get a pedicure or a hand and foot massage. Something!

Anyway: That's it Ladies and Gents : Say NO to the funk!

So I am going to give this Mama Drama Monday a Whirl. Wish me luck:

You know you have Mama Drama if:

1. The YP gets ticked off at the hubs and is so stubborn that she refuses to ask for help when she has to go potty. You are completely unaware and realize something is wrong when you are in the kitchen and you and The Hubs keep asking, "What is that smell?" "Did you throw away a dirty diaper?" "Are you sure?" You finally go to investigate "the smell" and walk in on a scene that makes you gasp in utter dismay, gag, scream, and run.

She had to go, refused to call for help, removed dirty panties, tried to wipe, tried to put on new panties and when all the above failed she ran and hid in her sisters closet. Let's just say Barbies convertible ended up in the sanitize cycle in the dishwasher.

2. Same little girl is bare bottomed on your bed and pees all over your coveted, sacred Scandia Down pillow. You throw it in the washer and leave to make Tamales and come home to what looks like a mostly empty pillow case with clumps of stinky feathers. Lot's of drama - trust me! This is after The Hubs broke a tea cup from England and I chipped my favorite tea pot.

3. You have a migraine - It's 5:45 am haven't slept at all and not feeling well and the whole family converges on your bed talking away with 10:00am voices. Irritated, tired and not fully awake The Hubs says something with the words, 'why don't you.........' ( I seriously don't remember the rest of his sentence ) When you reply "Why don't you shut your mouth!" OOPS. Totally slipped out - not what I meant to say at all. Honestly! Thank heavens The Hubs is a saint because he just got up, closed the door and said calmly, "let's leave Mama alone." I couldn't sleep after that and got up and apologized.

4. When the Hubs has to literally pull apart the YP and the MP because of a full on brawl. Yep the 2 year old and the 4 year old were starring in there own mini version of WWF. Nice - Huh?

So after this whole week - This Mama was not in a good mood. So finally you know you have Mama Drama when.............

5. After a day of being on your feet for 9 hours making tamales with the background noise of fighting, yelling, whining, tattle telling - you blow and send everyone to bed. The OP is in her room crying and singing the blues, The MP is screaming for her Daddy and won't dare come out and the YP (the bravest of them all) comes running out (I am assuming to find The Hubs), sees mama and turns and runs back without a word and went to sleep. She knew.

Well there you have it - Amy's Mama drama. Really I find it all quite funny. It is just life! I wouldn't trade it for the world and honestly I don't last two days without missing this crew.

Maybe Lady Di will add hers later.

Spill it! What was your drama?

Next Stop...Crazytown (That's Where I Live)

You Know You Have Mama Drama When....

1. Your sons says he wants to have a friend come for a sleepover, only to realize that the "friend" has four legs, is furry, and whistles...yes whistles at the butt crack of dawn when he wants to get breakfast. Yes, that's right, my son was asked to have the honors of taking care of the class pet over the weekend. Cooper the guinea pig has graced us with his presence the last TWO weekends.

2. You're trying to make dinner and two of your children run outside with out socks and shoes on (it's been freezing at night) when the neighbors pulled up, the youngest (who is sick) can't go outside so decides to climb onto kitchen counter and yell "HI" out the window at everyone with her little froggy voice. The door was left freakin' wide open, hubby is no where to be found, and you look over and see that our "guest" Cooper the guinea pig is just chillin' under the Christmas tree. Yep, it's an insane asylum here and the inmates are running it.

3. You find it amazing that in all your career as a mother not once has a little thing like being sick stop you from taking care of kids and things around the house. In fact, I remember getting strep throat 1 day after coming home from the hospital with a new baby. I nursed and took care of a new baby, a 3 year old, and the hubs was not around (because he started a new job, but still). However, it's a whole different story when the hubs gets sick. You know, the guy hardly ever gets sick, but the dude gets a cold...a cold and it might as well be H1N1. He was pathetic. I think the kids are less cranky when they have a cold.

And Finally,

4. Your 7 yr. old son is shreiking because the 3 yr. old is taunting him with a "moth". She's on the step waving the "moth" in front of him, hence not allowing him access to his beloved tractors upstairs. You go to investigate the situation only to find your son almost near tears, convinced that lil' Miss Thing has a moth in her hand. You ask her what the heck is actually in her hand and she says, "Oh mom it's not a moth it's just cwrap!" Sure enough, it was indeed just "cwrap", a piece of old tape that at first glance did indeed look like a moth or some type of bug. Now I deal with the fact that my little girl seems to be 3 going on 13 with the special talent of being able to easily taunt and tease her older brother, not to mention her colorful vocabulary skills!!

Home Team Players, Kicking Up The Romance, And Just Say No to Socks with Sandals

You Know You Have Mama Drama When.....

1. You spend 15 minutes in the bathroom at Home Depot doing double "doo-ty" supervising both your young children while they do their business. They really need to learn to be home team players.

2. Your daughter is insisting she wear sandals and socks out in public and you just CAN NOT have that because you have serious issues about that crazy little fashion statement. So you confiscate all said sandals thinking you have solved the problem, only to pick up the little Wild Woman from day care to find her in jeans, socks, and SANDALS!!!!! Time to start doing a bag check for contraband before going to daycare again.....

3. You and some other moms make up stuff to talk about to add as "other business" at our service meeting because the meeting ended early and we couldn't go home because the kids wouldn't be in bed yet.

And Finally.....

4. Your idea of putting the romance back in your relationship is closing the door when you go to the bathroom. Whew, hadn't done that in like 8 years, I got a little claustrophobic.

Too Early To Make Sound Decisions, Clean Showers, And There Must Be Crack In Candy Land-Monday's Mama Drama

You Know You Have Mama Drama When.....

1. Your son has taken your muttered response of "Have whatever you want for breakfast." quite literally as you find him at the dining room table with his entire bag of Halloween candy in front of him. Hey, it was 5:30 A.M. on a SATURDAY when the kid came bee-bopping into my bedroom and said, "Can you make waffles?" Me: "Uh No" JD Boy: "Then what can I have for breakfast?"...and you know the rest.

2. You are so peeved off at your husband that you end up cleaning the entire shower from top to bottom at 11:00 P.M. because the mindless task is actually therapeutic, plus it gave my hands something to do other than strangle my beloved, PLUS I used his little nail scrubber brush to do the job. It worked...I felt much better when I was done and my shower sparkles. He better be nice, the toilets need cleaning next and I hear a toothbrush works great for getting in all the little nooks.

3. The same morning that your son had his highly nutritious breakfast of Halloween candy, he continues to pester you in bed. Now it is 6:00 A.M. and he wants help finding a pair of pants so he can go to the ranch with Daddy. He can't find them (of course, he's a male). I'm in bed TRYING to sleep (crazy, I know) when I look on the floor and notice a pair of used pants he took off the night before and left on my floor (again, of course, he's a male). So, I tell him to put those on. I mean come on, do I really have to get out of my warm bed to get him a pair of clean pants just so he'll get them filthy dirty as soon as he gets to the ranch when there is already a perfectly filthy pair right there for him to put on by himself? See, there is a method to my madness.

And Finally....

4. You look your 3 yr. old in the face and say, "Sorry honey, I don't know where your Candy Land game is right now." You know it's tucked away safely under the bed, but you just can't play that stinking game ONE. MORE. TIME. Little did you know when you purchased said game that your daughter would turn into a Candy Land ADDICT and demand EVERYONE in the house play every five minutes. Not to mention the dang little kid wins every time. I don't know how she does it, but EVERY TIME...I'm not competitive or anything, I'm just saying.

Just Chillin', The Almighty Fart, and A Speedy Spongebob-Monday's Mama Drama

You Know You Have Mama Drama When....


1. You go get your 3 yr. old from the neighbors house and you find her lounging in a chair surrounded by all her "peeps". You tell her it's time to go home to eat lunch and she says, "But mom, I'm just chilling over here." Yeah, she's 3 going on 13.

2. First your son tells you that farts keep leprechauns away (because didn't you know that leprechauns live in your carpet). Now, your daughter tells you that "blowing wind" also kills monsters. Who knew the almighty fart could ward off such forces of evil.

3. Your kids are just so gosh darn stinkin' cute that they not only received candy, they got mini pumpkins, one lady took their picture (even though we didn't know her), and they even scored some cold hard cash. Heck, one neighbor gave ol' mom and dad a bottle wine....hmm, did it look like we needed it?

And Finally....

4. You whip out a homemade Spongebob costume in less than 2 hours so your son has a costume for his school Halloween parade. See, mama thought she was cool and had until Sat to make the costume, until she realized Friday morning that his parade was on Friday afternoon. However, much to my surprise it turned out quite nice or as my son would say, "awesome".

Angels, "It's a Farming Thing", and There's a Bunny In My House- Monday's Mama Drama

You know you have Mama Drama when...

1. You are in the car and warned the kids for the 100th time to stop touching each other and be quiet, when you hear yet another "hit" and yet ANOTHER snicker. You realize your ninja reflexes are not what they used to be when you turn quickly to catch the "perp" in the act and all you see is the 3 yr. old (with the halo on of course) pointing her delicate index finger at big brother...who is staring blankly out the window (also wearing halo).

2. You are actually thankful your son wants to be Spongebob for Halloween even though Spongebob annoys the YOU KNOW WHAT out of me. BECAUSE...up until this weekend you thought you would have to REALLY make your son either a center pivot costume OR a giant corn cob costume (it's a farming thing).

3. Most moms are taking their sons to Saturday morning soccer games, you are taking yours to the ranch to smash potatoes with the tractor (again...it's a farming thing).

And Finally....

4. Your 3 yr. daughter walks out of the bathroom stark naked with a wad of toilet paper stuck between her cheeks and says, "Look mom, I look like a bunny!!" Hmmm....potential Halloween costume perhaps???

Oops I forgot my kid, Burnt Bread, and My Very Own Rock Stars-Monday's Mama Drama

You Know You Have Mama Drama When......

1. You are so busy talking on the phone to your best good friend (Amy) and "farming" on what Amy and I have determined is a sick social experiment hidden under the guise of a game called Farm Town that you pick up your son from school about 10 minutes late. But, no worries he knows all the office staff (remember mama used to be a teacher there) and just hung out until I finally came.

2. You are yet again on the phone with your best good friend Amy sitting in the dining room, looking at your son who is standing with his back turned to the microwave oblivious to the copious amount of smoke billowing out of it after he decided to nuke a piece of garlic bread for...I don't know...like 5 minutes!!!! Hmmm...I think I need to stay off the phone when it comes to things having to do with my son.

3. You are at your Dad's birthday party and all 3 of your children ages 3, 7, and 14 are singing karoake-Nickelback's Rockstar. Okay, there are SO many things wrong with this one. A- Uh, karoake at my DADS 55th b-day (enough said). B-My kids chose Rockstar to sing and knew all the lyrics, including the 3 yr. old. They're such nice lyrics too, "girls come easy and the drugs come cheap", "dress my a$$ in the latest fashions" are just a few. C- Mama was their loudest and biggest fan. Hey, those kids have got some potential. How many 3 yr. olds do you know that can sing Nickelback, hold a microphone, twirl, AND do a hair flip without missing a beat??

4. You have bloggers guilt because you haven't been able to make the rounds and visit your favorite sites and leave comment love to all your invisible friends. I'm still trying to establish some sort of routine, but its hard not having regular full time employment. I'm all out of sorts and my time management has gone right out the window. I honestly think I did a better job of being organized when I had more things to do. Now, I find myself "off task" often and my To Do list seems to be getting longer instead of shorter.


If everything could be done twice, everything would be done better.- Costa Rican Proverb

Who's The BEST Best Friend in the WHOLE Entire World??-Monday's Mama Drama

You Know you Have Mama Drama When.....

**This week's Mama Drama is not mine. My blog partner Amy had one heck of a week getting one heck of a party organized for the OP. Due to the many miles between us I unfortunately was not able to witness with my eyes her mental breakdown. However, many phone conversations gave me some insight into the Mama Drama that befell my poor best friend this week. So, here it is folks....Amy's Mama Drama ala Lady Di.


1. You have so much on your mind that it is not until you are in the shower when you remember that you put your best friend in the WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD (uh, that would be me) on hold while you took another call.


2. You have to call your best friend in the WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD (yes, me again) because you have a major Farm Town emergency. Something about a bad power cord and no power to the computer and the raspberries need harvesting. So the BF of the WEW has to log in as you and harvest for you. All I can say is, "that a girl Amy!" Only you could be waist deep in Wizard of Oz party crap and still be worried about beating that cousin of yours to the next level in Farm Town. Now that's some true competitive spirit.

3. You have to set the alarm to wake you up to get the cake out of the oven that is baking at 3:45 A.M. Yes, you read that right, 3:45 IN. THE. MORNING. My bud in her infinite wisdom decided she didn't have enough to do and had signed the OP up for cheer camp. Cheer camp involved attending a football game (so OP could do a little cheer) the night before the big party and they didn't get home until late. Therefore, Amy and the Hubs (bless him) stayed up until the wee hours of the morning baking birthday cake.

4. You're on the phone yet again with your BF of the WEW on the big day of the party running down the list of things still left to be done. You have the sympathy of said BF of the WEW and even have wishing very badly there were some way she could just hop on a plane to get over there and help, until.....you mention you still have to make HOMEMADE mini corn dogs. Okay, Amy really??? HOMEMADE mini corn dogs?? This is the part when I think you brought this mental breakdown on yourself girlfriend. You know I love you, but I know this place, it's called Costco and they actually sell mini corn dogs. It's amazing, they come already battered and everything. You just have to pop them in the oven.

And Finally.....

5. The Hubs (double bless him) goes out and dyes (yes dyes) one of the horses. You know, for a horse of a different color-it's a Wizard of Oz thing. Anyway, so the Hubs ACTUALLY does this and you have this dyed horse ready to go when what happens??? That's right. It rained and dyed horsey became an undyed horsey in less time than you can say "There's No Place Like Home." I'm sorry Amy, remember I never laugh AT you only WITH you. This sounds more like something that would happen to me. You know, since me and Murphy's Law are like this **fingers crossed**.

Well, turns out that despite the Drama the party was a HUGE success. I knew it would. Amy is the master party planner. Good Job Amy!!

Licorice for Lunch?, Farm Town Obsession, and Sandy Butts-Monday's Mama Drama

You Know You Have Mama Drama When....

1. You finally get on to that Farm Town game on Facebook to see what all the hub-bub is about and six hours later no laundry has been done, but you are now a Promising Farmer (level 7), and your son comes up and says, "Umm, hey did you know that I never had any lunch?" Me: "Didn't I see you eating something" (out of the corner of my eye as I was feverishly planting more grapes). JD Boy: "Well, actually that was just a snack, I didn't have any REAL lunch." Well, crap...I'm harvesting for someone right now trying to get some extra coinage. Hmmm, maybe if I ignore the "fly" will go away. Harvest, harvest, harvest, nope. Still standing there. JD Boy: "MOOOM" Me: "Oh ALRIGHT!!" wait a tick Me: "hey, how 'bout you just go and get some Red Vines, then go outside and play. By the time your done playing I'll be done, promise." JD Boy: "OKAY!!" Me: "Get your sister some too"

2. That lunch you promised to make your children turns into dinner. Hey, they had Red Vines!! It's not like they were starving. Anyway, it's all Amy's fault. She's a Farm Town enabler.

3. You overhear your 3 yr. old (HRH) giving the 7 yr. old an earful for tattling on her. It went something like this..."Now, you don't tell HER when I am playing on the phone! OKAY!!" JD Boy: " You can't tell me what to do, I'm in charge" HRH (with hands on hips): "Um, no I don't think so." Apparently, when mom is on the computer the children determine they are on their own (quite rightly) and try to establish some sort of hierarchy. My poor son thinks mistakenly that since he is older he rules the roost. However, what he has yet to understand is that lil' sis is a lil' firecracker and what she lacks in size and age is more than made up for in sass and attitude.

4. You and the family are so tired after playing at the river all day that when you get home you just let your son crash into bed all grimy without a bath, still in his swim shorts. HRH had been cleaned upped and changed before we left (hey, now that's some good mama-ing...at least for one kid)

And Finally....

5. Your so proud of your son the next morning because he comes walking in your room all showered and dressed. You think, "Wow, he actually took some initiative on his own and completed the entire task by himself" (which is like a big deal for my boy). So, you are in the moment, beaming full of pride. You take the time to tell him how proud you are and really make it a point so that we get some good positive reinforcement and you're just going on and on about how responsible he is and yada, yada, when he looks at you and says, "Yeah, well I just wanted to get the sand out of my butt." Ohh-kay, well thanks for the 411 son. Me: "Well, did you get the sand?" JD Boy: "Yes" Me: "Then, Bravo son, Bravo. Now go pour your independent self some cereal."


A happy heart is better than a full purse. - Italian Proverb

Crimes of Fashion, WTF does IMO mean?, and Getting Ranchy-Monday's Mama Drama

You Know You Have Mama Drama When....

1. You just don't have the where-with-all to make your little cherub take off the hot pink "Fancy Nancy" tutu before going to the grocery store. AND, the cowgirl boots she had on as well just flat escaped your attention until you lifted her up into the shopping cart. She was certainly a sight to behold.

2. Your son has to join in on the freak show action going to the grocery store. So there we were, lil' sis looking like a crazed cowgirl ballerina and JD Boy, in his camo John Deere shirt, wrangler jeans, and sandals with SOCKS ON!!!! Okay, I know he is my son BUT he broke not one but TWO of Mama's cardinal rules about sandals. FIRST, it is not kosher to wear sandals with jeans (especially Wranglers). The Jesus Cruisers are meant for more casual attire for oh... I don't know, SHORTS. SECOND, NEVER, EVER under any circumstances whatsoever wear sandals with socks!!! I can not over emphasize this enough. Wearing socks with sandals is about as useful as wearing sweats under a bathing suit. I don't get the sock/sandal thing. It's missing the whole point of sandals. Really, let the piggys breath people!!!

3. You look up text message acronyms on the Urban Dictionary that you found online because you REFUSE to ask your teenage daughter what IMO means for fear of being that "old person" who isn't on the up and up with the latest forms of technological communication. You know, the one you used to make fun of when you were a kid.

4. Weekend entertainment out on the ranch for the kids was riding on 4-wheelers and a tractor (for the boy). Oh, and let's not forget checking out the dead wild pig out in the hay field too. Don't worry people, it wasn't particulary nasty and my kids aren't traumatized. In fact, I'm kind of old school in the sense that I think it is good for kids to have an understanding of that whole "circle of life" thing.

And Finally....

5. You discover that your little girl is not quite 100% ranch kid when she refuses to pee in the field because she doesn't want to get dirt in her "coo-coo". I know, it's a valid complaint and one I can not deny. However, her brother had some advice on the situation. He said, " Don't worry about the dirt, just don't pee against the wind." Thanks, for the words of potty wisdom son. Luckily, the guy who lives in the ranch house was home and HRH was able to do her business on a proper toilet. As for JD Boy...he just found whatever proper bush, tree, tractor tire, etc when nature called and turned with the wind, of course.

**Thank You to everyone that left supportive and encouraging comments yesterday on my pity party post. I really am starting to feel better and more like my ol' self again.

Have No Fear....Lady Di is Always Good For Some Mama Drama

You Know You Have Mama Drama When.....


1. You ask your daughter what her brother is doing upstairs and she responds, "Oh, he is taking a cwrap." GREAT sign me up for Mother of the Year right now!!

2. Your "date night" ends with having to shut off and check center pivots (its a farming thing) AND off-roading in muddy potato fields at 11:00 at night while a slightly buzzed hubby tries (I use this term loosely) to give you directions through a maze of dirt roads on a 9,000 acre ranch. Isn't he romantic??

3. You burn the bacon because you are too busy blogging. Well, that's not really my drama that's Kid Drama. Poor kids. There should be a support group for kids whose moms are bloggers.

4. You find a way to finally defeat those dirty little leprechauns after all these years of turning off the lights, running, and jumping onto the bed thanks to your son who you discover has the same neurotic fear of them. According to my dear boy apparently all you need to do is fart on them. Yes, that's right. Leprechauns have no power against the foul stench of JD Boy's farts. He told me out of the blue the other morning. JD Boy: I don't like Leprechauns. Me: You don't huh. JD Boy: Nope, whenever they come around I just fart on them. Me: Really, is that how you keep them away? (notice I am not telling him leprechauns are not real like a good mother should) JD Boy: Yep, just like this (I get a REAL demonstration). ME (gagging): Yeah, that'll do it. So where do these leprechauns live? JD Boy: In the carpet of course. Me: Oh, of course. I didn't have the heart to tell him they really live under the bed.

And Finally.....

5. You can't even have a conversation on the phone with your best friend (Amy) without some major drama occuring on both ends of the line. She was gagging because the new puppy had shat in her bedroom AND at the exact same time I was writhing in pain because a toothpick (that my son had dropped on the carpet) had impaled the bottom of my foot. So they we were on the phone, one gagging and cursing, the other crying and well, cursing. It was a lovely conversation indeed.