Why?

So seriously, why on earth, on the nights I can't SLEEP because the ANXIETY bug has bit again. {What I really should call it is Anxiety Alligator because I could squash a bug but I can't wrestle an alligator.} Where was I? Oh yes, why on those nights when I seriously want to sleep but can't, because my mind RACES, do all my children feel they need to be awake as well! WHY? It never fails, my worst nights, they grace us with their presence.  There I am in bed: Cruising the blogosphere, watching old movies, praying sleep will hit me (I think it is coming) , thinking I am being uber stealth like and quiet {have you ever looked up 'uber', you should, quite interesting really} and the YOUNGEST starts crying.  2:00am!  ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Every Time!!  I wait...................she cries...................she stops.............I wait..................she cries................she stops. Then...............she WAILS! OH MAN! she is not easy to sleep with. I sense the Alligator is coming back. 

{Yep this is going to be a sleepless night. At least it is Sunday, Daddy will be home. I can sleep in}

I go get her.  Mo00000000000mma, Mooooooooooooommmmmmma! She is yelling! I pick her up give her kisses and put her in bed with me and The Daddy (my husband). She immediately snuggles herself in his arm pit.  I think {maybe this will work}.  Then................The Middle One graces us. Walking in all groggy! Daaaaaaddddddddy, Daaaaaadddddddy! OMG! Not her too! I need sleep! I want sleep!  They both immediately start fighting over him.  The Youngest: crying, pushing. The Middle One: crying pushing back. AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!  I JUST WANT TO SLEEP.  I get up. I get a drink. Sniff some Geranium Oil (it helps with anxiety), come back to bed, turn everything off.  Tell The Daddy I should leave he tells me -  no, stay! I STAY.  2:30...........3:00.........kicking...........pushing...............stealing loveys............3:30. I get up (more Geranium, I wish I could drink the stuff), The Daddy takes The Youngest back to bed.   MORE CRYING! She comes back to our bed. OMGoodness! 4:00........4:30.  The Middle One is out, she is actually easy to sleep with.  The Youngest is still awake.  The Oldest, thank the heavens, has not shown herself.  

{I fall asleep as does The Youngest}

5:30 - Apparently the Oldest wakes up! The Daddy emerges from the Bathroom, fully dressed. 6:00! We will be back, he says! { IT'S SUNDAY - No you can't leave me here. They are going to wake up!} 7:00 The Youngest starts stirring! {Now I know you are KIDDING!} She wakes, waking The Middle One.  She gets down.............they start fighting.  Dear LORD! I am so tired! Where is The Daddy? Just a few more moments, then I can get up. What is that smell? HOLY STINK! {now I have to get up} The Youngest is like a machine! I start to move my toes to the side of the bed. HONESTLY! Do I have to get out of this warm comfy bed. Maybe I can just pretend I didn't SMELL that!

I hear the key turn in the door! WhooooooooooHOOOOOOOOOO! The Daddy is home! "girls daddy is home!"  They run...........I sigh.  He hear him say to The Youngest, "wow, you stink. Let's go change you STINKY! "  He comes back shuts the door to our room and tells the girls to stay away, "Mommy is very tired."   

I proclaim to myself and to the good Lord above,    I LOVE that MAN of Mine. I try to go back to sleep but think of this post and had to get up! I AM my worst enemy!

 Again - I ask Why? Any other night is not a big deal but anxious nights are the worst.  Now the question is why on earth the anxiety in the first place?  That is the million dollar question!