Sunday, January 3, 2010

Leaks, Enough About Tractors, And Covert Operations

You Know You Have Mama Drama When....

1. You decide you better go sit on the toilet during a bad coughing spell so you don't pee yourself. Hey, this mama popped out not one but TWO 9+ pound babies and the land down under has never been the same.

2. Your son unrolls an ENTIRE brand new roll of paper towels just to get the little tube in the middle so he can rig it up to one of his toy tractors and use it as a "drag bar". Yeah, it's a farming thing.

Speaking of tractors....

3. Your son is sooo excited about the new track tractor at Dad's work that it is ALL he talks about. So much so that even the 3 yr. old upon seeing her brother walk towards her, held up her hand to him and said, "NO!! I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE TRACK TRACTOR!!"

4. You're running late so you raid your kids piggy bank because you need your tall nonfat chai tea from Starbucks and you don't have time to go to the bank AND Starbucks. By the way...yes, I know you can use an ATM card at Starbucks but then that would leave evidence via the receipt which would not be good since I currently bet my hubs that I could kick my Starbucks addiction. See how this is wrong on soooo many levels....mama drama for sure!! Oh and don't worry, I repaid my debt to my child and vow never to pilfer funds again...girl scouts honor.

And Finally....

5. You're in the midst of devising an elaborate covert operation to return a missing crock pot lid to your mother-in-law which you have been swearing for the last year you have not had in your possession. Low and behold you find the stupid thing after stating with much conviction for many months that you most certainly DID NOT have it. Well, dear ol' mom-in-law just happens to be going on a little vacay this week and guess what is going to be shoved way back in a corner of one of her cupboards to await discovery by it's proper owner??? I'm not joking. This is highly classified information, she would never let me live it down. Operation "Make Her Think She Is The Crazy One That Misplaced Her Lid" will commence tomorrow morning.

You know you have mama drama when you can't get your stupid computer to do a simple task like copy and paste your signature.....ugh



Christina said...

I'm guilty of pilfering.... or just flat out telling my kids I need to borrow some money for a cappuccino.

I'd be slipping the crock pot lid in the back of the cupboard too. No way I'd provide my MIL with ammo.

Gabrielle Krake said...

ooo, the crockpot lid part is hilarious!I have done things like that so many times!!

Amy said...

Great MAma Drama

You know you have mama drama when you two year old tells you I don't want it. When it is time to eat.

Glad to hear from you again.

Michele said...

Seriously - the peeing while coughing thing? I've had one child - average size - and the leaking while doing anything resembling an exertion of energy commenced within weeks of discovering I was pregnant. I think it was all of the morning sickness vomiting - I learned to vomit while standing up with my legs crossed to save my underwear and pants for the day. How much more freaking humiliating can motherhood get? Now that I'm pregnant AGAIN, I think the volume of leakage has just increased. Can't wait to see how many panty changes occur postpartum this time.

And I won't even discuss the hemorrhoids. ;-)

shortmama said...

I can so relate to number 1...and I would stoop to hiding the lid as well!

blueviolet said...

I love that you're off on this covert mission tomorrow!

Our Mission

To have a safe place where you can air all your mama drama without judgement, cause we know you don't always have the kids in bed by 7 and make creme brulee for dessert every night.

Oh yeah.........

and if you do, you're on the wrong blog!