You Know You Have Mama Drama When.....
1. Your son doesn't have any sandals that fit so he decides to wear his bright orange cowboy boots with his green and yellow plaid shorts to take a walk. YEAH SPRING WEATHER!!!
2. You hear the four yr. old hand out some advice on how to handle a bully to your seven yr. old. It went something like this.... 7 yr.old: I'm just having a hard time because "so and so" is calling me a fathead. 4 yr. old: Just call him a butt crack then.
3. You're standing at the back door waiting for the kids to come (who never come). After about the third white trash yodel of their names you decide to actually look for them and walk into the kitchen to find one kid smacking on a brownie and the other with a mouth full of Jolly Ranchers. Not the worst snack items except for the fact that it was 7:30 in the morning. However, you find yourself at a loss for words because you were just waiting by the door to get them in the car to go get some donuts. You know, brownie, Jolly Rancher, donut, heck...why don't I just throw in a couple of Mountain Dews to wash it all down!!
4. You're husband comes down with a severe case of strep throat. I'm talking, "shot in the butt with penicillin" severe. AND...the 4 yr. old develops some kind of mystery rash on both arms and the top of one foot. So the husband is in quarantine, the kid is asking for her "itchy cream" every 5 minutes and I am washing my hands like I have OCD.
5. You answer your sons comment of "I just don't know why we need manners." with "Because we live in a place that uses manners." To which he replies (with a giant sigh mind you), "I wish I lived in Africa." Uh...OK. Now why he thinks that in Africa one need not have manners I do not know. I gave up wondering what's going on in that crazy little mind of his the day he answered "nueve" when I asked him if he wanted juice. Ok...follow me, he watched a Baby Einstein video that taught different languages. One of the languages was German, in which "nein" means no. The word "neuve" in Spanish means nine. So when I asked if my then 3 yr. old son wanted juice he replied "nueve" which is "nein" in German which means no. See what I mean? So now, it doesn't even phase me when I hear his crazy commentary.
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