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Monday, August 24, 2009

Have No Fear....Lady Di is Always Good For Some Mama Drama

You Know You Have Mama Drama When.....


1. You ask your daughter what her brother is doing upstairs and she responds, "Oh, he is taking a cwrap." GREAT sign me up for Mother of the Year right now!!

2. Your "date night" ends with having to shut off and check center pivots (its a farming thing) AND off-roading in muddy potato fields at 11:00 at night while a slightly buzzed hubby tries (I use this term loosely) to give you directions through a maze of dirt roads on a 9,000 acre ranch. Isn't he romantic??

3. You burn the bacon because you are too busy blogging. Well, that's not really my drama that's Kid Drama. Poor kids. There should be a support group for kids whose moms are bloggers.

4. You find a way to finally defeat those dirty little leprechauns after all these years of turning off the lights, running, and jumping onto the bed thanks to your son who you discover has the same neurotic fear of them. According to my dear boy apparently all you need to do is fart on them. Yes, that's right. Leprechauns have no power against the foul stench of JD Boy's farts. He told me out of the blue the other morning. JD Boy: I don't like Leprechauns. Me: You don't huh. JD Boy: Nope, whenever they come around I just fart on them. Me: Really, is that how you keep them away? (notice I am not telling him leprechauns are not real like a good mother should) JD Boy: Yep, just like this (I get a REAL demonstration). ME (gagging): Yeah, that'll do it. So where do these leprechauns live? JD Boy: In the carpet of course. Me: Oh, of course. I didn't have the heart to tell him they really live under the bed.

And Finally.....

5. You can't even have a conversation on the phone with your best friend (Amy) without some major drama occuring on both ends of the line. She was gagging because the new puppy had shat in her bedroom AND at the exact same time I was writhing in pain because a toothpick (that my son had dropped on the carpet) had impaled the bottom of my foot. So they we were on the phone, one gagging and cursing, the other crying and well, cursing. It was a lovely conversation indeed.

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12 comments:

Amy said...

So flippin' funny! If we had only knew what the remedy was for exterminating leprechauns in college. :) Although that wouldn't have been very lady like. Stupid dog - why did you let me buy a dog? I blame you, your supposed to be my best friend.

monica said...

Great Monday drama! Ouch the toothpick must have hurt. Hope it wasn't bad. Amy how did you get locked in the bedroom by your dog? How funny!!

Amy said...

Monica - Shat not shut! Hence the gagging. LOL. Although that would have been some drama too - being locked in my room by the pups.

The Blonde Duck said...

I know it's rude, but I would have loved to been a fly on the wall during the leprechaun and crying/ cursing convos...

I have lint gremlins in my dryer.

Lisa Anne said...

This is hilarious as usual. LMAO. And that is exactly why I don't have a puppy. Tip, cook the bacon in the microwave, it's super crispy

Amy said...

You know you have Mama Drama when you are at the Zoo and go to change your little one not really looking down as the diaper comes off with other things attached. You ask a nice person in the bathroom to call for your back up...

Kristin said...

At least she didn't say he was taking a sh*t!

shortmama said...

Doesnt that always happen on the phone!

blueviolet said...

There seems to be a theme with your son. He's either crapping or farting.

I won't even mention how many things have burned due to blogging. I suspect there are more of us doing this than we could ever believe.

The phone call is hysterical!

Muthering Heights said...

LOL...yes there really should be a support group for our poor kiddos!

Erin said...

Hey my son says "cwap" too...Mother of the Year here I come! HA!

And I am thinkin the hubs just wanted you to run out of gas way out there in the field?

I hope you don't need a tetnus shot for that toothpick!! I hope your foot is better!

JennyMac said...

LOL...bacon burner. And you are right...thats kid drama..you had important things to do!

Our Mission

To have a safe place where you can air all your mama drama without judgement, cause we know you don't always have the kids in bed by 7 and make creme brulee for dessert every night.

Oh yeah.........

and if you do, you're on the wrong blog!