You know you have Mama Drama when....
1. Your car is overheating and you are certain that you will end up breaking down going up and over a rather long mountain pass, with two kids, in triple digit heat, while you are traveling ALONE. Hey, it's Murphy's Law and Murphy's Law LOVES Lady Di very, very much. So, you have to wait three hours at a truck stop for your Dad to come rescue you.
2. While at said truck stop for three hours you consider all the ninja moves you will have to bust out on some dirty-nasty trucker that just happens to "show up" at all the places you are meandering in and out with the kiddies. Every time I looked toward him he just smiled, but I gave him my "I know Kung Fu look". He actually wasn't THAT dirty-nasty, my JD boy was taller than him, he looked older than my grandpa, and he probably was wondering why the crazy lady with two kids was following him, so he thought he'd just smile at her and maybe he wouldn't have to use his ninja moves on her.
3. You have to go to the store to buy electronic cleaning wipes to clean the evidence of your son's little make out session with your father's big screen T.V. I don't know where I am going wrong with this kid. I wake up, go out to the front room and there he is...face on T.V., mouth open, tongue out...(this is the part when I let out the world's biggest sigh). My son and I have a "don't ask don't tell" policy for moments like this, because I don't EVEN want to know his fool explanation.
4. You spend more than an hour combing the bottom of the pool with your feet searching for the boy's goggles (swimteam goggles I might add). You finally find them, however make the grave mistake of giving them back to that silly boy because for some stupid reason you think he won't drop them again. Well, remember my good buddy Murphy? I finally get back to relaxing in the pool...hah that's funny. I hear, "Where are my goggles? Mommy, do you know where my goggles are?" I said (still "relaxing" on the float) " Yes, I'm going to make a wild guess and say they are at the bottom of the pool where mommie just spent an HOUR looking for them. " He responded, "Of course, I know they are at the bottom of the pool mom, I want to know WHERE they are on the bottom of the pool." You know, one would think that having such a smart@%$ mom might clue him in a bit to the sarcasm. Gosh, I love that kid!!
5. Your little girl has nothing on but her black see through skirt. You know the one you pull over the leotard for dance class. She has two. So one was on like a skirt and the other was pulled up under her arm pits, I guess to be the "shirt". She comes walking out in her "outfit" and all I could think was "Great, get her some clear see through stillettos, a pole, and "Peaches" here is ready to go to work." I know...that is WRONG, however let's face it, all us girls have our little secret "I wanna be a stripper" fantasy. She is just having hers early, it's a phase she'll grow out of it. It's not like she is going to get clear stillettos for Christmas or something.